From Dead End Job To Successful Business Owner: Learn How This Ninja Mom Did It!

blackbelt business entrepreneur kimtalks kimwunner martialarts resilience resilient storytime Apr 18, 2022
 

As a business leader, you need to be able to see the big picture and make strategic decisions that will move your company forward. But sometimes it can be difficult to know what the right decision is, or how to implement it in a way that will really make a difference.

That's where Kim Wunner comes in. As a transformative business and leadership coach, she helps women become the leaders they are meant to be. Kim partners with individuals and organizations to increase insight into situations and make smart action plans that work. So they can live in their potential in business and in life.

Through her coaching, Kim has helped countless women discover their true strengths and navigate through challenging times. She knows what it takes to be a successful leader, and she is passionate about helping other women reach their full potential.

(The following text has been transcribed)

All right. Welcome. Welcome. I'm Kim Hayden, the host of Kim Talks. And we did veto the name Kim Talks a lot, even though my children and my husband did say that was the right name for this podcast. But I am super excited today because today I'm going to be able to talk in the third person and the first person the entire time.

I'm excited to invite Kim Werner. And Kim Werner is a transformative business and leadership coach, guiding women to become the leaders they are not that they are not can be or will be, but they are Kim partners with individuals and organizations to increase insight into situations and make smart action plans that work so they can live their potential in business and in life.

A few things about Kim's 20 year marketing career rating for businesses of all shapes and sizes that afforded her an intimate knowledge of corporate culture, one of which I do not have. So I'm looking forward to digging into this. Ten years at a nonprofit activism and advocacy work she knows about mission, runs her own business for the past 16 months after leaving the corporate culture and knows a thing or two about challenges, direction and triumphs of aligning your passion to your work.

She owns a B.A. in women's studies and is deeply aligned in feminism, earning her presence or presence based coaching certificate, her presence base coach certification. Boy, oh, boy. You got some big words in here. This is awesome. Is it going to be a good talk and is a member of the International Coaching Federation, has a five year meditation practice, deep spiritual practice lives right outside Philadelphia. We're going to dive into this 12 in two martial arts systems, a further expression of a light body, mind and spirit. She's deeply committed to the alignment of self for women and the LGBTQ community. Kip's clients are all ages. They have different careers, families and genders. The one thing they do have in common is wanting to be aligned, living in their greatest potential.

 

Welcome Kim. Yo. Hi, Kim.

 

That is such a good bio. I've read this a couple times, so it's like, okay. Martial arts. I got to start there again. This is like I have two left feet. I try to take dancing lessons with my husband, and I think I actually broke a small town. So tell me about martial arts. Tell me what do you do?

 

Yeah, martial arts are my main system of study. It's called American Tempo. And it's American based. And then the second system I'm in is actually Okinawa and Capo. Similar systems same kind of idea as martial arts. Just different approaches.

So do you have a black suit? Are you able to, like, stealthy ninja style anything? Or is this just literally is it is it too? Is it like a core kind of strengthening? Tell me what it is that it brings to you.

 

Yes. And do have a black ninja suit. I earned one, right? I was able to wear it when I had to wear white up to a certain halt and then you could sweat and it was a big deal. So I was able to go get a black they're called. He's able to get a black key figure. And so there is so much better.

 

So for me, being from a place of wanting to be strong, like physically strong, that I had always had a physical like exercise practice and was at a point in my life where I wanted to gain strength and my daughter had been training for a few years. She started when she was five and the owner of the studio, our karate master, he invited me to try it. Like just try this. I'm like, I'm thinking about lifting weights. He's like, This is a different kind of strength. We'll try and just then we'll talk about what you think. After my class, my first class, I threw a punch. I'd never thrown a punch in my entire life. I don't know how I stopped. And so I continued on, started to teach, and came into a second system.

 

I've actually also started to learn to fight with weapons as well, like sticks, like big long sticks. And so that's what it is for me. So, yes, it is. It's not really where I get my physical exercise. It's not about that for me. It's about the balance and the training and the physical and spiritual and body and mind alignment.

 

Very cool. Tai Chi, is that in that somewhere? A lot of people talk about Tai Chi as they start getting older. Is that something that you've looked into or anything along those lines? I'm just curious because, you know.

 

Yeah, that's more about energy movement, right? And like a slower, more fluid way. And I actually do use Tai Chi and my coaching when we get into body and physical movement.

 

See, I, I actually threw Tai Chi up because aside from like karate is the only one I actually know. So I'm glad it was in the right space. So I did like some of your affirmative language you're using here that they are versus they can be. I found that very interesting. But when you talk about how you in the past 16 months you had to shift.

So let's delve into that just a little bit and how you're working with people to guide them. Like you're kind of it seems like it's almost like a dance. You're a step ahead and now you're guiding them through the movements. Share with me what your shift has been, why it took place, and then how you're leveraging that information, that experience to help your clients.

 

Yeah, absolutely. And what a great question. What a great way of putting it. You're very astute. That's what happened in 2019. Prior to the pandemic I had a big job working at an ad agency working many, many hours and I was very unhappy. That was not a great alignment and was not a great place for me. But I had a big paycheck and I had a daughter to support and so I thought I was doing all the right things. And this is after many years in many many years of chasing money and thinking that what we needed to do right and I left that job and like that was enough right that was enough of me feeling out of alignment, feeling I had two right and not being happy and not living the life I want. When I was malnourished, I was high anxiety I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't spending time with my daughter, not being the parent I wanted to and having the richness of life. So I spent a lot of time figuring that out, doing exercises, taking a step back, looking at the big picture, realizing like you mentioned, I have a women's studies degree. Like, for me, it's always been about women and their self-sufficiency and their leadership in life. And I had gotten started there and gotten really away from it, thinking I would one day get back to it and figure it out right so I decided this was the time. So I started working with my marketing background and doing some consulting work. I took on a coach like I had a coach. And in that program, one my grandma thought that I might make a good coach. And so she offered the opportunity for me to shadow her and start learning and helping with some of the group coaching programs. And then someone very shortly, like a week after she did that, someone completely in a different realm, said she had seen my social media posts and thought she needed some help and would I be willing to coach her.

So like all these things are coming at me. So I tried it on and it worked very naturally like it worked and I was helping women and making a difference. And so I decided to go all in like, I can do this, and it gives me everything I want and everything I need and it fills me up and it fills other people. So I got the coaching certification and now I have a practice where I'm helping women with their businesses in their lives all doing it absolutely.

 

So you have the marketing background, you have the certification, you have the corporate kind of foundational pieces technology. So I know specifically I know personally that the technology can be a challenge in navigating all the different platforms. So there's all these different platforms. You can do Udemy, you can do a job, you can do Clickfunnels, you have all these platforms coming at you every which way when you're facing this and you're working on getting your brand out there. So you have the Expertise. That's not the issue here. Now it's getting the knowledge that your, your, your door hanger is out there, right? You're open for.

 

Business, right?

 

What are some of the challenges that you've been faced with, and what are some of the aha moments? So you go, Oh, that was easier than I thought.

 

Yeah, yeah, right. So many things come at you and there's so many ways to do it. And if you pay attention to the ads there all the way, right? And if you're doing it any other way, you're doing it wrong. We're wasting time or you're, you're, I'm being efficient or something like that. And they're all really easy. And that can be really overwhelming. Right? And really challenging. So I found that being a business owner and coaching people through it is that you want to find a system that works for you and is as streamlined, as efficient as possible, you don't need all the bells and whistles out of the gate, right? You need something that meets your needs. You can kind of anticipate what's coming so that we can scale. As you scale your systems can scale with you and so it's not all like hodgepodge together, right?

 

Yeah, it's a hodgepodge. That's a real stumbling block for people because they always feel like they're going back to fixing things up, right?

 

That's right. Right. You always have to go back and fix it or your website doesn't work with this other thing or whatever it is. So I always advise my clients when we're starting, like, let's do our research first, identify what our needs are, what we anticipate our needs might be in the next couple of years. Right? So you don't have to go through this all over again. And then we go from there and we find, you know, you find your apps that plug in and you just create your system. That's the cool thing about there being so much technology. You can find one, you can put together a system that really works nicely for you. And what I learned and the aha moment looking for it wasn't one way to do this. And there isn't a right and there isn't a wrong. You just find the one that works for you. Some people like getting paid via Venmo, some people like Stripe you know, like whatever it is, we just figure it out.

Absolutely. They say that Forbes did a study and 2019 before we hit the pandemic and they said that $117 billion were generated through online learning in one form or another. And they predicted before the pandemic that online learning to be a $325 billion wow. Yeah. When we look. Yeah. 325 billion and that was before the pandemic. I'm actually going to go on. I've gone on record several times and said I do believe that we're actually going to probably see about 400 billion by 20, 25. So in online education the greatest challenge you think women face because we have that the statistics are very real. The average female coach makes $46,000 versus the average male coach at 70. So you tell me what, what is the block, is it the technology, is it, you know, is it being surrounded with the right people?

What do you think is the challenge that women face in building these online leadership, mentorship, coaching speaking spaces?

 

Yeah, yeah. I think the biggest challenge there is not identifying what we need and then asking for it, right? Or usually like building it on our own and that keeps us small as opposed to asking big and bringing in the things we need to make it happen. And really having that plan for growth, we take it on, right? We think we can do it all and we can write in some capacity but we need help and we need collaboration. And one thing we've found, right, is that what has benefitted men because I think that that imbalance and pay and that lack of pay equity that we see across the board. Right. One of the reasons men are able to succeed is that they know how to build their network, right? They just naturally build their network. They just know how to do it. And women don't really think consciously about how we're doing that. No one really taught us about that. We were home with the kids, that kind of thing. So I'm really thinking about who we need to help elevate us, help bring us in, whether it's mentors, whether it's coaches, right?

Whether it's a small business loan, a helping finding someone to help us understand the finances and business and how to make all of that work and really putting on that hat. I think that's one of the greatest challenges we have. 

 

Yeah, I think I would agree with you. I think that we don't ask for relationships. And it was interesting because my son said to me, I'm very blessed. I have two sons and a daughter and they're all adults and they're probably my biggest fans and just really cool young adults. And my son said to me, guess, mom, you got to quit waiting for everybody to like you and I do. I have this. I'm a people pleaser. I'm the entertainer. I want everybody to shine and get excited about life and it was really interesting because he has friends that are very well-to-do, self-made, and he goes, Mom, you know how many people hate him? And I said, well, that's not something to strive for because you've just gotta let people pick if they like you or not. That's not your issue, because if you really want this to work, you have to quit getting hurt feelings and just push out there. And it's like, you know, this is a 24 year old kid telling me this. He goes Yeah, it's like, Okay, okay, can I hide behind you? So it is interesting how women because I think we're natural nurturers and it's a real struggle because you know, we want we we deserve we deserve to because I think if more women were leading this world, we wouldn't be where we're at. I really do. You know, what is that song by? But even that's you know, it's all the kings put their queens on the throne. We pop champagne and risotto. So we wouldn't think about that, you know, what are some suggestions you have as a coach that you would give somebody that they're just like they're so close and yet they are the person stopping themselves from going that next level. What would be that? Is that.

 

Advice? Great question. Yes, I would tell them the people pleasing part, right. We need to let that go. Right. There is more than enough to go around. There are more than enough people in this world. You will find your people, right? You will find them. So you stay in your lane and you keep being you and you moving forward. The other part I would talk about is that perfectionism is right, that women suffer from that statistic, right? So if there's a job, if there's a job posting, men will just apply for it where women have to hit at least 80% of the things right before they would even consider applying, if not all of them and that is different. And so there's that perfectionism which isn't there like if you have the spark and you have the drunk, go for it. Right. And we figure out how to make that happen for you. That's what you're being pulled for.

 

Absolutely. Progress over perfection I just wonder how many women are sitting out there right now on a great course or great program, but it's not perfect yet. So they haven't launched it yet.

No one launched it. So many of us are just waiting for the right thing, waiting for it to be perfect.

 

Absolutely. And you know, what if we waited for it to be perfect, I don't think any of us would have kids now. I I love my children. I love my children. You know, speaking of children, so you have a daughter. How old's your daughter?

 

She's 13.

 

Oh, interesting years. So what are you learning from your daughter right now? Because I know we talk a lot about how we teach our children, but some of my greatest life lessons I've learned from my children. What are you learning right now?

 

Yeah, well, she would tell you that I'm learning about how to dress but from what I see from her is this. There's confidence in and what comes with that confidence is wanting good things for everybody. And not that I never felt that way, but I didn't have that confidence since there's just this fluid abundance, right? That comes from just her as she walks in the world. And seeing that brings me back to it. Every time that we all have that, we all deserve that. And we all come from there. Right. And it brings me back to that each time.

 

You know, it's fascinating that you say that because, you know, I stop and think back in the eighties when I was young, like your daughter, I remember the you know, the Madonna and the power and that that Pat Benatar and all the women I'd walk around, I was like Tank Girl. I had my arms. I was like, and then it is interesting now that you mention, I wonder where we tend to start losing that confidence.

 

Yeah, right. I came from the same error era, right? Loved all of them. I was drawn to all of those. Still. Still am. I think there was something along the way when we start with the messages that we get, where it's cultural, where it's outside of us, right? I mean, I know for us and I think it was a little different, you know, it's a different generation. I know for me, going back and figuring out and somewhere in her age, it was somewhere, somewhere in there where I started to pay more attention to what I was supposed to be. Yeah. Where those messages start to come through is at that age, whether it was as a girl, like what you're supposed to do, you know, and going to like that linear way of being that you're going to get married and have the house and have kids right. There's that supposed to there's the expectation of what a girl and a woman should be I think when all of that started to come through was when that kind of self-doubt and self-esteem and all of that started to kick in.

 

It's fascinating, it's one that, like, honestly, we could do a two hour talk on and not get to the bottom of it. I'm sure so we're talking self-esteem and we're talking, you know, having that confidence. I want to wrap this back around the two businesses. Okay. So you have a client that has come to you and says, you know, I really want to do this, but I'm just not sure if it's right or, you know, I'm not sure if it's, you know, people will actually pay for it.

What's the first few pieces, the first few steps that you're going to take them out on the dance floor and say, follow me. I gotcha. What are the first few steps that you get them just to get their head in the right space?

 

Yeah. So the first thing I do is I have them tell me about the vision, like that exciting thing that they want to do, right? So we talk about that. So now I've got their vision. I'm in it with them right? And depending I might have them, write them, write it down and be their homework assignment, right? And like just really go into it. I mean, body, mind, soul. I want every detail of what the business is. The next thing we're going to do is semantic practice. I'm going to ask them to step into that vision. Right, and show me what it feels like. All right. What does it feel like when they're in it, when they're doing the thing right? Because there's an alignment with you with your neuro programing when we can really use our bodies. Right? And so that makes it a little more real for them and lets them on it. And then I want them to also show me, conversely, what the doubt feels like. Right? And then we can talk about that and then from there, through our practice, throughout our time together, I'm going to have them do practices that keep bringing them back to the vision and keep bringing them back to the way whether it's a sticky note on their computer that they see every day, that the picture that visualizes it, maybe it's vision boarding, whatever works for them. Different people like different things. To keep bringing them back and get them in the vision as being their reality, the actual reality that they know it's actually happening. It's already morning. It's one day.

 

Awesome. And I think I've heard a term not too long ago called Project It till you reflect it. And I really, really like that because it doesn't we all here fake it till you make it right. But if you project it when you talk about the vision board, when you talk about putting your project in it, you will eventually reflect that, right? So project it to reflect that. So, oh, I get, I get to talk to some of the coolest, smartest people like yourself out there. And I'm just the sponge. I'm just.

 

About, oh, one, I might borrow that.

 

Go for it. It's all yours.

 

And fake it till you make it. But I project it till you reflect it.

 

Exactly. So when we look at everything, what is one book that you just think of every business person that's going through a pivot right now or every person that's going through shifts and I mean, we're in a crazy world, crazy time. Everything is possible, folks. Anything is possible. What is the book that you would recommend that we all pick up and read?

 

Yeah. So I really love right now “A New Earth'' by Eckhart Tolle.

It is a lot about separating the ego, and I think that's very helpful and helping us overcome our kind of our fears right and and really stepping into who we are in our greatest purpose and moving forward with that. So it's a bit on the spiritual side, but I have found I am loving it right now.

 

And I think that right now we all need a little spirituality no matter what your practice is. Whenever I think stepping beyond ourselves and making space for others is actually I think it's much needed right now. I think that that kindness towards others is much needed right now. What's the one piece of advice or if you could go back and give yourself advice as a younger woman, I know everybody likes to take us seriously. We're doing this one woman said, Don't marry, run but you have beautiful kids. A real good piece of advice you would give your younger self.

 

Well, there's that. I would say, Oh, my God. Well, what's coming to mind right now is like it's going to be bigger and better than you can even imagine right now. Hold like, keep going. Hold on. Yeah. I think I would tell her that. Let's keep going for all those times, right? That I thought there was this, like, linear way of being or I had that self-doubt or that started to rise. It is going to be so good. Just keep going.

Yeah, absolutely. Just, yeah, that keeps going. You know.

 

There might be another one in like, trust yourself.

 

That's a big one.

 

That's a real big one. Like, really trust what you're feeling, you know, because that's when we don't write the voices that when they start coming in right? And but really, you know what's going on.

 

Absolutely. No, don't allow the accelerator in your. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. So if I was to put a favorite quote on a T-shirt, make you wear it for a day, what would that quote be right now?

 

I love being curious from a TED Lasso. Yes. Yes. He has elevated that concept and I've heard more than one person bring this up in conversation that it really woke them up to hear that. And I love it. Right. Be curious so it takes the ego out. It takes the judgment out, takes the good bad out and really lets you step forward and see what's going on, right?

 

I mean.

 

I'm loving that quote. Yeah.

 

Oh, Kim, can you share with us where we could find you and how we can engage with you?

 

Absolutely. So I have a Web page, which is Kim Wagner dot com. I am on Instagram and LinkedIn and Facebook under the same Kim Warner and so that is a great way to find my private message. You can send an email through my website or book a discovery session if any of this is resonating. All those things are possible. So those are the best ways to find me.

 

Absolutely. And you know, folks do remember there's not a single athlete that makes it to the Olympics without somebody to help march them forward, a coach to show them the ways. And if you're feeling a little stuck, you don't have to be stuck. There are amazing leaders like Kim out there to be of service. So any parting words, Kim?

Anything else you'd like to share?

 

I love that. That's exactly right. Like I use the softball coach analogy with my daughter. She needed to learn how to bat better. So we got our coach who knows how to bat, right? And he broke it down for her and now she's not stuck and she's doing great. So coaches are there to help you get on stop, right? Get you from A to B like we live in the space of potential and it's such a fun place to be in. And so I love being there. Yeah.

 

Absolutely. Anything and everything is doable and is held. The finger is all you got one of these. You can be a leader right? Actually, you don't even need one of these. Just step up, do something, do something today and lead me to do something. My name's Kim Hayden. I am so incredibly thankful, grateful that you chose to spend your time with us today. As we know, your time is the one not renewable resource that we just aren't getting more of. So thank you again for investing your time with me. If you like today, please, like, share, comment and subscribe. I need your support so we can have all these amazing women and a few guys here and there. Come and share with us.

So again, thank you so much.

 

Thank you.

 

Kim Wunner is a transformative business and leadership coach, guiding women to become the leaders they are. Kim partners with individuals and organizations to increase insight into situations and make smart action plans that work, so they can live in their potential in business and in life. A few things about kim: 20 year marketing career ranging from businesses of all shapes and sizes that affording her intimate knowledge of corporate culture 10 years in nonprofit, activism + advocacy work - she knows about mission Runs her own business for the past 16 months after leaving corporate culture and knows a thing or two about the challenges, direction and triumphs of aligning your passion to your work Owns a BA in Women's Studies and is deeply aligned in feminism Is Earning her Presence Based Coaching Certification and is a member of the International Coaching Federation Has a 5 year meditation practice, deep spiritual practice Lives right outside Philadelphia with her daughter. She holds rank in 2 martial arts systems, a further expression of aligning body/mind/spirit She is deeply committed to the alignment of self for women and the LGBTQ community. Kim’s clients are of all ages, they have different careers, families and genders. The one thing they do have in common is wanting to be aligned, living in their greatest potential.

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